Thursday, June 21, 2012

may 21 2011

we re-united othe 20th of may for our friend's wedding, izzati. we went to iiu and slept in our friend's room. the we talked we laughed and we rekindled our days together after being apart for almost a month. we went for dinner and present hunting for the newly weds :) the next day me, aan, tia and ijan went for the solemnisation ceremony. we were very happy for izzati looked very beautiful and she is the first to marry in our group, therefore we are very very happy. we arrived on time and we sat really close to her. we witnessed everything and we saw how happy izzati was. we were brought to tears when she was announced to be the lawfully wedded wife to her husband. we took pictures and we had the best meal because it was our friend's wedding. time came for us to part again and it has been a year and 1 month since her wedding. we hope you are happy izzati. we know we are ,) we love you. with wedding over, it was time for us to part, again. bye bye my sweethearts.

May 2011

we will start going down memory lane from when i last posted my last entry. we graduated and we left iiu. we left iiu but we kept the memories. me and my girls parted on the 15th of april 2011. we left each other because it was time for us to leave and return to where we belong to. aan heads south for johor and tia headed for kajang. we did not cry. we kept it inside of us. we kept it for quite some time though. i shed the tears for leaving my girls in september on the 5th to be exact. in my room with their pictures on the board i shed my tears for departing from my other halves.

been awhile folks!

splurging of and i mean wow!
it has been almost a year since i last babble my way over here
once again WOW!!!,
soooo many things happened to me like alot, and i mean ALOT!! so many things to splurge and tell and relate...

Monday, May 30, 2011


Now this is about A.N
I have not seen him for the past 7 weeks
and the last time i saw a glimpse of him was on the 14th of April 2011...
I thought I would see him again, but i did not
and here i am after 7 weeks
wondering, why did i went to the washroom? i knew that a mistake would cost me
and i know i did that mistake and it is killing me inside
not slowly but i know i am dying inside.
I would give anything to see him

it is a month now after i asked him his birth year
on 29th April 2011,
i plucked up whatever courage i had in me
and i messaged him on F.B
he actually replied :)
he was born in 1985 :D

and then onwards
everything that i know about him
anything that is related to him keeps on showing up,
his name, everything, anything that is related to him
it's like i am not allowed to forget him
not even once
anywhere i go
anything i read
will always lead me back to him and his memories

i miss him
i know i miss him
and this is different from last year
this is the type of longing
that i feel like crying
believe me a tear or 2 dropped
i dream of him
and it feels so real
i could hear his voice
i could feel his gaze upon me
i could feel his presence.

i see him
even when my eyes are open
visions of him will appear
his scent will be there when i miss him
everything i had never thought of
came to me.

he is someone i never dreamed of liking
forget anything else that comes after like
it is really easy to see him
i have these images of him being in my life in the future
the pieces now fit with each other
they fit perfectly
in my images only

have i told you
that it is my very dream
to give him a present
that is a whole set
of Baju Melayu that is black in colour
i really want to look at him wearing this
just once
and everything will be alright
for me :)

and i found more pictures of him :)

I Miss You dear A.N

things i kept to myself

i can tell you because no one really knows about You :P
how am i supposed to say this to anyone?
the days that i go through is eating me up inside. my life now is at a new and different level
i have finished my studies in iiu. i am far away from my friends and i am at home, helping my parents at our shop and that's just it. for the coming months, this is how my life is going to be spent!
day in day out!
i have been through a lot these past weeks and days
many things happened
do not really know what they are
was too ignorant shall i say?
i am not happy
i do not know what has got into me. God knows the things i have been through
not major physical ones
they are more on the mental side
the stability of my mental is lowly making it's way to deterioration
i do not know what the problems are
but i am pretty sure it is bottling up inside me


Flower gleam and glow
let your power shine
make the clock reverse
bring back what once was Mine

Heal that has been hurt
change the fates' design
save what has been lost
bring back what once was Mine

What once was Mine....

Friday, April 8, 2011


You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one I'll always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you

You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one I'll always love

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

I'll be there as soon as I can
But I'm busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before

Before you